This weekend signals only two new releases in the city of Victoria, mostly because we're still in the thick of the summer movie season and everyone but Warner Brothers is scared to open up against that shrill, big wall of noise known as Transformers. There are also a handful of other great films to be seen in the city, and I'm hoping that you put your money towards that instead.What's new:
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Silvercity, Star, Capitol 6, University 4, Caprice) -- Thanks to Warner not screening this in advance last week, I have still not seen the latest chapter in the Potter franchise. Potter gets darker and more menacing this time around, and with every film it becomes less kid-oriented and instead focused on the darkest channels of our souls. Opening Wednesday to get a few more dollars before the final The Deathly Hallows book takes over every Potter fan, this film has already scored an insane amount of money and it WILL be busy this weekend, so plan your cinematic attack early.
Captivity - For the five of you out there who still think "Wow, Roland Jofee has a new film out? Awesome! Can't wait to see it!", you might want to remember that he did the godawful Goodbye, Lover a few years ago and hasn't done a good movie since The Mission in 1986. Now, here he is with a long-delayed movie that has been confirmed as two hours of "torture porn" by James Berardanelli. Not even the gorgeous Elisha Cuthbert will make me want to see this filth.
What else you should be seeing:
Ratatouille -- If you're a bit too spooked to see Harry Potter or are scared off at the huge lines, why not see what I am still considering one of the year's best films? Pixar films refuse to age, and this one is no exception. You can still see Remy cook, Linguini dance and let your heart dance to the sights of Paris.
Once -- I'm finally seeing this on the weekend and still recommend that you check out this Irish music film while it's still in town. And grab that soundtrack while you're at it!
La vie en Rose -- Also seeing this weekend is the big widescreen story of Edith Piaf brought to life. Still Oscar talk on Marion Collitard as Piaf.
Knocked Up -- Hey, were you one of those fools who saw License To Wed last weekend and want to rectify that mistake with a REAL comedy? Check out Judd Apatow's flick, still the funniest of '07 and STILL playing at the Odeon. That's an order.
Away From Her oddly double billed with Shrek The Third at Roxy -- If you still haven't seen director Sarah Polley's wickedly awesome directorial debut, feel free to skip the year's lousiest and most pointless sequel and check out the Oscar-worthy Julie Christie.
And if you are up for a funny movie on Monday night, The Matador plays at Movie Monday at the Eric Martin. Check out Pierce Brosnan in one of the funniest performances of his career as a tired-and-weary hitman.
Oh, and fuck the Transformers. I've fought all week with people who desperately want to see two and a half hours of shit blowing up. People, you're better than this garbage. It wouldn't bother me as much if the shots lasted more than two seconds, heavy filters weren't utilized so much by cinematographer Mitchell Amudsen and Michael Bay would keep the damn camera still. Spinning your big 'ol Panavision camera isn't cool anymore. (It wasn't even cool THEN.) Oh, and how about giving us something, ANYTHING to care about? And by that, I don't mean black people running through windows and uber-hot Australian code-crackers who probably own The DaVinci Code on DVD. The film made me woozy, tired and desperately wanting a Red Bull afterwards. It's one of those fanboy films that I think even the fanboys will hate when the mass hysteria over the flick dies down and they realize how lousy all of it is. A monumental waste of time, although Megan Fox is kinda cute in a porn star kind of way.
Will be back next Thursday when I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry and Hairspray are scheduled to open.
Jason
efilmcritic.com
No comments:
Post a Comment